Where's the library?

While chatting with a resident of the county about the new computerized GED, adult literacy programs, and computer literacy programs, it occurred to me that the library would be an awesome location for adult education programs. In many places the public library offers such programs for little to no charge for county residents. It then occurred to me that I had never set foot in the public library here in the county, so I asked where it's located.

Where indeed. It turns out that this county institution is closely tied to another upstanding county institution. The library is none other than the the former jailhouse. To sweeten the deal, it still has a hangman's noose and prison cells to boot.

Moderation and economy. Thrift and innovation.

Maybe the library/jailhouse combo is a thing like KFC/Taco Bell or Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin-Robbins.

The struggle is real.

Kool-aid pickles?

Kool-Aid pickles (kool-aid +sugar + pickles) are quite the thing in the county as well as in many other places.

Kool-Aid pickle

During break time (snack time) the school sells things like sports drinks, chips, nachos, fruit snacks, and of course Kool-aid pickles. 

On one fine afternoon several young female scholars proceeded to do "unspeakable things" with said Kool-aid pickles in the bathroom, so the school no longer sells this southern delicacy during break time.

Our fearless leader was deeply moved by these events, so she decided to make a public service announcement at the start of classes the following day. She kindly informed the student body that "we are aspiring to acquire greatness, not sucking to acquire greatness." 

The struggle is real.

 

Layaway...at a pharmacy

I went to the local pharmacy to pick up some candy and some personal hygiene items the other day. As I stood in line waiting to check out, I noticed that the lady in front of me was filling out a lengthy form.  I was thinking, "maybe she's old school and wants a rain check for an item that's out of stock." Upon closer inspection, I saw that the paper was titled "Layaway Request Form".

Maybe it's just me, but I don't walk into the pharmacy looking to buy something that I can't afford.

Maybe I need to get with the program and put my toothpaste and gummy bears on layaway the next time I go to CVS or Walgreen's.

The struggle is real.

No sub, no problem

Here in the county many certified staff use all of their sick time and then some. The problem is that nobody likes calling out sick ahead of time, so the school is always scrambling to find a substitute at the last minute.

If we are especially fortunate, one of the bus drivers will stay on as a sub, but when lady luck is not on our side we push for more innovative methods.

Option 1: send the students to the gym so that 20+ kids can disrupt the gym class that already has 40ish students.

Option 2: send the students to the library so that the librarian can babysit 20+ kids with nothing to do.

On one such occasion when we resorted to option 1 (sending the kids to the gym), students used this opportunity to engage in "inappropriate activities" in the bathroom.

Such innovation, such preparation, such flexibility.

The struggle is real.

A typical day in the lunch line

Student: Ms. Smith, you take food stamps in between paychecks?
Teacher: No.
Student: How you survive without food stamps?
Teacher: I use my money.
Student: So you don't get food stamps?
Teacher: No, I don't get food stamps.
Student: Ms. Smith, I never knew no black folk that don't get food stamps.

Here in the county 100% of our students receive free lunch and most if not all of them receive food stamps.

The struggle is real.

Enrichment?

The department chair decided that enrichment would be more effective if we allowed a few select students to run each classroom. These chosen elite would be the teachers delivering instruction and clearing up confusion in each classroom. Sounds awesome, but that's not how it worked out.

The students didn't respect their "peer teachers", so no "enrichment" took place. But no worries, we have a flawless plan in place. We will continue to run enrichment the same way for the rest of the year.

Here in the county we believe in continuing to beat the dead horse even when there are several signs telling us that there is no life remaining in the poor beast.

Well, I guess its easier to leave something broken instead of using precious resources to fix it.

The struggle is real.

Did someone say gas leak?

Yes and no. Yes there was gas, but it wasn't due to a "leak." A brilliant young scientist in the chemistry lab thought it would be hilarious to turn on the gas at his lab station while the chemistry teacher was otherwise engaged. This awesome joke went unnoticed from first period into second period until several people noticed the smell of gas.

Our emergency preparedness plan sprang into action as the principal announced over the intercom, "Fire! Evacuate the building! Fire!" Simple fire drill evacuation, right? Not quite. In this class period I happen to have a young lady, Suzie, who is nearly six feet tall and relies on a heavy duty power wheelchair to get around. I'm thinking, "no problem the emergency exit will have a safety ramp." Wrong.

As my class files out of the emergency exit I'm left with Suzie and a few stragglers. The exit has a ledge with a seven inch drop between the ledge and the sidewalk. Suzie takes one look at the edge and says, "I ain't goin down there" and I'm thinking "I know you smell the gas. You can either come out this way, or you can stay in the building and die." Of course I didn't actually say this to her, but at the same time I knew there was no easy was to get her out of the building.

First, Suzie tried to drive off the ledge, but that didn't work out. Then, another brilliant teacher suggested that we carry the power chair + Suzie from the ledge onto the sidewalk. So the wheelchair rescue mission team (3 teachers + 2 students) lifted the power chair and inched it over to the sidewalk. Rescue mission success? Not quite. The base of the wheelchair pulled away from the seat and slid into the grass. The wheelchair rescue mission team then lifted Suzie out of her seat and sat her in the grass.

The wheelchair rescue mission team then reassembled the wheelchair, lifted six foot Suzie back into her chair, and continued on with the fire drill evacuation. All of that only took about seven minutes. Thankfully no brilliant young scientists wondered what would happen if they lit a match in a hallway filled with noxious gas.

Well, in the case of an emergency, don't be handicapped.

The struggle is real.