Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Our wonderful students...

Here in the county we firmly believe in maximizing instructional time and reaching every student, but I guess this doesn't apply to the history department.

One unfortunate history teacher has classes of 25-30+ freshmen who still haven't learned how to behave. On one beautiful morning she turned her back to the class as she wrote notes on the white board.

As her back was turned, one young scholar turned the lights off. As she turned around to confront the student, other students proceeded to throw textbooks at her.

This teacher then marched the class to the office, turned in her grade book, and drove home.

Not to worry, I'm 99.9% sure that none of the students involved got in trouble.

Whatever happened to kids who respect authority?
The perfect student?

Still riding the struggle bus...

In retrospect...

It would have been nice to know a few things before teaching in the county.

1. Everything is a teacher problem/The kids are not accountable for anything.

Let Billy's mom show up and accuse you of failing Billy. Even if you plan interventions and give extra opportunities for Billy to bring his grade up, it is not my responsibility to convince Billy that he should try to get above a 65 in my class. But don't worry, it's the teacher's fault that Billy didn't feel like doing group work, independent work, art activities, lab work, learning through song, etc. As a result, Billy's mom is in the right. It's the teacher's fault. Shame on the teacher for not doing cartwheels and back flips to get Billy excited about learning.  

2. Too many kids "need" accommodations.

Billy's dad wants Billy to sit in the front row, but I can't do that since I have more than 10 other students with a behavior plan that requires him/her to sit at the front of the room. I'm no magician, so there is no way to make more than 10 front row seats even if I have the room split in half with the kids facing each other. Well, sorry Billy's dad, request declined.

3. Alternative school is an ineffective rehab facility

Billy and Suzie are notorious for disrupting the classroom environment, and both have already received several days of in school suspension and out of school suspension. At this point both students now have a behavior plan which essentially allows them to misbehave without getting written up unless the teacher follows steps 1-10 on their "positive" behavior plan. Nevertheless, Billy and Suzie continue to disrupt class and are therefore sent to alternative school.

Problem solved? Not quite. Low and behold Billy and Suzie are on a 10 day plan at alternative school, so 10 short days later they're back in my classroom doing the same nonsense they were doing before they left. To sweeten the deal they are both now 10 days behind on classroom material.

4. Everybody knows somebody, so nobody gets in trouble

Before coming to the county I was told that we rarely ever have fights, because if a fight breaks out, the students are taken to the police station.

Since I've been here we've had at least 8 fights, so that means at least 16 students involved in violent activities on school grounds.

How many of these students have actually been handcuffed and/or escorted to the police station? Zero.

Why? Well Suzie's mom knows officer B., so he can't bring himself to handcuff her. And If he doesn't handcuff Suzie, then he can't handcuff Brenda either. Or, one of the students involved belongs to an influential family in the community, so we can't handcuff him or take him to the police station.

When there are no real consequences for bad behavior, the kids will do whatever they want to do.

Still riding the struggle bus...

Monday, January 20, 2014

Literacy among other things...

It's always a special day when you find out that the assistant coach for basketball has a master's degree but can't read and can't do basic addition. How did I come to learn this? Well, here in the county we firmly believe in pushing all of our staff members to get certified. This means that everybody must at least attempt the praxis each year if you are not already certified.

For the past few years our beloved assistant coach has been signing up to take the praxis but has never actually taken the test more than one time. Since the county is so wonderful, they think that this person has taken the test each time, so in their books the assistant coach is making every effort to pass the praxis. According to my source, the real reason this person hasn't been attempting to take the exam is because he/she can't read.

As the assistant coach for basketball, you're responsible for keeping stats during the game. Since my magnanimity and beneficence are boundless, I offered to send the game stats to the local newspaper, but I noticed a few discrepancies when I looked over the point totals.

Our team's total points = 67
1st quarter: 17 points + 2nd quarter: 8 points + 3rd quarter: 19 points + 4th quarter: 20 points = 64
Point totals for each player = 11+7+8+16+17+5+1 = 65

Opponent's total points = 46
1st quarter: 10 points + 2nd quarter: 15 points + 3rd quarter: 13 points + 4th quarter: 15 points = 53
Point totals for each player = 2+2+1+23+23 = 51

I have thus concluded that someone can't count, and this someone happens to have a master's degree.

The struggle is real.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Dismissal



Here in the county the principal realizes that the students are not responsible enough to exit the building in an orderly fashion. To resolve this issue, at the end of the day, students remain in their 7th period class and wait for each individual bus to be called before exiting the building. 

Although this idea seemed fool proof, there was an incident in the bus loading zone that necessitates a change in the dismissal policy. Apparently certain teachers allowed all of their students to leave as soon as busses were called. This meant that 200+ students bum rushed the bus loading zone, and as a result, an unfortunate young scholar was trampled. 

To rectify this situation, our fearless leader will call ALL classes to the gym at the end of 7th period, and we will dismiss all students from the gym. This means that 600+ students will crowd the hallways to bum rush the gym in preparation for dismissal. 

600 students crowding one hallway vs. 200 students in the bus loading zone; I'm sure more than one student will get trampled this time